Desperation
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines desperation as: a strong feeling of sadness, fear, and loss of hope.
- that is me just about everyday, hanging onto life, dangling from the edge of a cliff with my fingers digging into the Rock.
This is exactly where I need to be...without desperation I lean on me instead of Him. In my desperation only God can, there is no me! I must cry out for the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf. Because I am blind in this world...blinded by vanity, materialism, anger, distrust, and apathy.
This is exactly where I need to be...without desperation I lean on me instead of Him. In my desperation only God can, there is no me! I must cry out for the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf. Because I am blind in this world...blinded by vanity, materialism, anger, distrust, and apathy.
Just as others before me, I cry out in desperation for my Father to keep me glued together and keep fear and doubt from breaching my spirit.
Lord, I am desperate for you!
Even after I gave this much thought and prayer, it became obvious that this was not only for me...that desperation was not only the place where I needed to be, but others are walking in a place where God needs them to be desperate, as well.
Not long ago, I made a commitment that instead of turning on the TV when I awoke in the middle of the night, that I would open my Bible and seek out the reason for my sudden alertness. This has proven to really open my ears and vastly improve my time with God. Although, being woke up in the middle of the night is not always received happily by me (really, it never is) I still accept that this is likely the only time that He can reach me. Sometimes, I have no clue why I am up and other times I wake up with a song running through my thoughts on repeat, and still other times I wake up with a very specific thought (this I prefer because it usually means I am going back to sleep after I pray :)
Back to the purpose of this post, the word desperation did not cease to occupy my mind...Not only did I continue thinking about being desperate and what it meant, the thought was also accompanied by a song by Michael W. Smith "I....I'm desperate for you, I...I'm lost without you"
WHY????
Because....someone else needed this more than me. Only I did not realize it until at 2:45 in the morning I woke up with the urge to pray for my friends that are walking through some significant battles right now.
Even after I gave this much thought and prayer, it became obvious that this was not only for me...that desperation was not only the place where I needed to be, but others are walking in a place where God needs them to be desperate, as well.
Not long ago, I made a commitment that instead of turning on the TV when I awoke in the middle of the night, that I would open my Bible and seek out the reason for my sudden alertness. This has proven to really open my ears and vastly improve my time with God. Although, being woke up in the middle of the night is not always received happily by me (really, it never is) I still accept that this is likely the only time that He can reach me. Sometimes, I have no clue why I am up and other times I wake up with a song running through my thoughts on repeat, and still other times I wake up with a very specific thought (this I prefer because it usually means I am going back to sleep after I pray :)
Back to the purpose of this post, the word desperation did not cease to occupy my mind...Not only did I continue thinking about being desperate and what it meant, the thought was also accompanied by a song by Michael W. Smith "I....I'm desperate for you, I...I'm lost without you"
WHY????
Because....someone else needed this more than me. Only I did not realize it until at 2:45 in the morning I woke up with the urge to pray for my friends that are walking through some significant battles right now.
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