Change....Overwhelming Change

Not sure where I am going with this or the purpose of this post, but I feel like I need to place these thoughts and feelings.  The current situation of my life right now are....crazy (for lack of a better word right now).

Sunday, August 9

1st...I am not complaining! I am über excited about my husbands selection for promotion :) However, we are back to square one with order selection...UGH! I have had one of those weeks, you know what I am talking about...the kind where every time you are blessed you suddenly realize the journey of that blessing. I think with everything that has went on this week God has just made me VERY aware of my limitations. Again, I am not complaining....just living a very REAL life and not necessarily loving every minute of it ;)

Tuesday, August 11
I cried out to the Lord and he answered me from his holy mountain. I lay down and slept yet woke up in safety, for the Lord was watching over me. Psalm 3:4-5 

David was fleeing, running for his life. Yet, he laid down and went to sleep! Yup, because he was confident that God was watching out for him.

Today, I pray that the Holy Spirit with fill us with this same confidence that God IS WATCHING over us and that His plan is coming to fruition. That because we step out and onto the path that we have been chosen walk the enemy of our soul, feeling threatened, and knowing of the defeat that faces him steps up his game.

Today…I AM CONFIDENT IN GOD even though I am afraid of this dark and uncomfortable path that I am on. The intensity of the attack helps guide me and I pray for discernment in the areas that I need to pray and when, in weakness I am unable to pray, I ask that the Holy Spirit step in on my behalf and pray for me.

September 1
Orders selection was so simple....the detailer just simply switched commands...we are going to Augusta :)
I am struggling with control (or lack of) I know that God will take care of us...that He knows what we need better than we do, so why do I continue to allow stress to burden me? I am not sleeping and have been increasingly short with EVERYONE. Did I mention that I am STRUGGLING with reading my Bible right now also.

and so now that I have confessed the real problem...(above) you would think that I would let it go and spend my time praying for God to do it all, because He can and He will!

on a side note, I have at least starting working out again...which leaves me asking why I ever let myself get out of shape...the journey back to fit...is PAINFUL!

"and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

Sept 2
This is the day the Lord has made...for three years this is the first sentence of the first email that i opened Monday-Friday while stationed at Camp Pendleton. I did not have a relationship with Christ at this time in my life and still this verse has stayed with me all through the years and has become a personal mantra. The chaplain sent out daily emails and every single one of them began with this verse from Psalms 118:24. 

Yes, I realized that it really has no relevance to this rant....but today I woke up and went straight to my devotional time. Even though I struggle with staying focused on it and even when my heart isn't 100% into it...I know that today is the Lord's and He made it for me to get closer to Him. No matter where I am, He finds me and it is up to me to search for Him. Because....sometimes God pursues us and at other times we must pursue Him.

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